remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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