is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
