Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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