but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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