was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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