Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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