Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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