Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
