I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
