seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
