So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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