exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
