There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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