They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize