He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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