What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
