Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Found the puke drawer
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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