in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize