I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
