why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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