She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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