he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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