whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
