It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize