just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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