Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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