Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Naked. naked and bneed help.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
