I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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