he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Did you just see the Batmobile???
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
