and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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