Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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