his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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