Redeem this text for a blowjob
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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