Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
