I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"