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I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Randomize
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