Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.