just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.