So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
