I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
