My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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