About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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