imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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