Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
