I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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