Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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