you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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