is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
