all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
