They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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