We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You can't motorboat a personality
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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