"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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