Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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