please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
