so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
