Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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