What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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