Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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